


Sherwood, But Not As We Know It

by lost_spook



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Maid Marian and her Merry Men
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-04
Updated: 2011-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-15 09:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/159484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never a good idea to meet a legend, as Ace discovers.  Meanwhile, the Doctor is busy getting sense out of the local village idiot...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherwood, But Not As We Know It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JJPOR](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJPOR/gifts).



> For JJPOR (but it was all my fault).

“So Maid Marian’s been kidnapped and you’re going to _run away_?” Ace wondered why she was surprised. This wasn’t how it went in the stories, but then again she’d never imagined Robin Hood being so posh and useless, and what could anyone expect from a bloke with a hair-do like that? “What sort of outlaw are you?”

Robin turned back. “Well, probably not _run_ as such – not carrying all of this. That would be silly. I shall walk away.”

“Let me get this straight – you said you were Robin Hood, right? And someone’s banged up Maid Marian in the castle dungeon, and now you’re going to leg it instead of rushing off to rescue her?”

The tall dark-haired, not-so-heroic, legendary hero sniffed. “Well, _obviously_ , I want to help, but the sheriff’s been making nasty threats about what he’ll do to Marian if we try – and to me. Can you believe it? He’s said -.” He lowered his tone, and she could have sworn it wouldn’t have taken much to make him cry. “He’s said he’ll tear my winter wardrobe into tiny pieces and then use them to stuff King John’s spare pillows. Well, that would be _dreadful_. I couldn’t possibly risk it.”

“We’re no good without Marian,” added Barrington. “S’how it is.”

Robin bridled. “Actually, Marian doesn’t have _all_ the good ideas around here. I simply can’t see a way out of this one. _Poor_ Marian, trapped with that awful bully, King John. He’s got no fashion sense at all, you know.”

Ace thought about this. “What about if I helped? I could blow the door off the castle, and get you in -.”

“Really?” said Robin, abandoning his packing. “You could? That’s marvellous! And then maybe Little Ron could distract the guards while we all burst in – and – and – find Marian! Marian will know what to do.”

“Yeah!” said Little Ron, who was more on Ace’s wavelength, even if he didn’t even come up to her shoulders. “I’ll bang their knees together!”

“And I’ll have a word with the Sheriff, because, you know, he’s not so bad really, as long as he isn’t in one of his funny moods -.”

“No problem,” said Ace. She surveyed the motley band of Merry Men again, and realised she was looking forward to meeting a Maid Marian who was capable of leading any sort of rebellion with this lot as her band of outlaws. Then she yelled, “Come on, then!” About to march off, she paused, and looked back. “Oy, Barrington – are you _singing_?”

Barrington stopped in the act of clicking his fingers. “Yeah. So?”

“This is a rescue mission!”

Robin leant over. “We’re the Merry Men. We have to sing. It’s, like, our ‘thing’. Other than the Lincoln Green outfits, of course. Which I designed myself, may I point out?”

“Gordon Bennett,” said Ace.

Little Ron screwed his bearded face into a frown. “Eh? I thought the Sheriff’s men were called Gary and Graeme. Who’s this Gordon bloke?”

Ace decided it was time they went and blew something up.

*

The Doctor had entered Worksop in search of answers to his questions (one being ‘where am I?’ but in a literal, not existential sense on this occasion) and he was still sure that something wasn’t right. He checked his watch again. “Probably the wrong universe,” he muttered.

He stopped to ask for directions from a dim-looking but kindly giant, who was apparently trying to sell a barrel of mud to the villagers, who already had nothing except mud, for reasons known only to himself.

Several hours later (ignoring the explosions, shouting and running about going on elsewhere in Sherwood that Ace was more than capable of dealing with. Or causing), he was still in conversation with the village idiot.

“You know, Rabies,” he said, finally, with a smile, “I’m not sure that you’re not misplaced – perhaps you’re on the wrong planet – or you’re merely ahead of your time?”

“Really?” said Rabies eagerly, and then frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Never mind,” the Doctor said, and gave him a wink, before setting off to find Ace. Parallel universe, he decided, and he probably should make sure she hadn’t razed the forest to the ground in the meantime.

[END CREDITS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWhLp2Zpn1w&feature=related)


End file.
